I Find Your Lack of Faith Disturbing
I was the kid who was too afraid to ask for the free toy at McDonald's. I was the kid too shy and nervous to play with other kids. I was the teenager way too terrified to step up and ask a girl on a date. I was the consultant so afraid of making a mistake and disappointing a client.
Over the last few months, I've been praying and reading and asking God how does someone like me, who's natural flesh reaction is fear, lead? How do my other gifts and talents trump that fear that wants to creep into my head at 2am in the morning while I'm trying to sleep? The answer isn't really all that profound. The answer is FAITH!
Over and over and over again Jesus told his followers to "Fear not!". When the storms would come, the answer is simply "Fear not". When the crowds hate them, the answer is simply "Fear not". When everything seems hopeless, the answer is simply "Fear not".
Faith is the conqueror of fear! Faith is the reminder that I'm not capable of being a leader on my own. Faith is the reminder of all the incredible things I've seen God do in the past and the trust that he is going to continue doing even greater things.
Philippians 4:13 says "I can do ALL THINGS through him who strengthens me." Through Jesus Christ I can do ALL THINGS! Not just some things... not just little things. ALL THINGS! When Paul wrote this in Greek to the Philippian church ALL THINGS really does mean EVERYTHING! The meaning wasn't lost in our English translation. Through Christ, who gives me my strength, I can do ALL THINGS!
So, when it comes to my being a leader... sure, sometimes at 2am I lie awake wondering who I'm going to deal with situations. Sure, when I hear horror stories of a pastor who's been betrayed by a friend or thrown under a bus from his board, I can get a little fearful that that could happen to me one day... but instead of letting that fear creep into my heart, I let the Word of God in my heart replace the fear. Faith. Faith that I truly can do all things thanks to Christ.
And as a secondary reminder, today I hung a new picture in my office of Darth Vader... it's strategically placed so that he is looking over my shoulder, reminding me that my lack of faith is disturbing :)