Prayer, Drywall, and Creativity

I spent most of the past week at Ellele Ministries Canada in Westport, Ontario.

Ellel has played an important part in our wellness journey for the past several years as the Father has brought both Danielle and me spiritual and emotional healing through their amazing team.  As we have pursued God's healing in our bodies, souls, and spirits, we have participated in several different events and retreats at Ellel.

Last week we had a Prayer Ministry Appointment (PMA) where we met with a couple of members of the team to pray together and listen to God on areas that he wants to on. Being on Sabbatical has allowed me to spend some great, quality time with the Father, but during that session, God revealed something new that he wanted me to be delivered from.

Fear.

Most of us deal with some form of fear. Whether it is anxiety, worry, or a phobia, fear can play a significant part in our lives. Lots of pastors struggle with people pleasing and the fear of letting their church down. 

These are not where God brought me. 

My fear is in the judgment of God!

Not a fear for my salvation. For me, the Bible is very clear on this issue. I have been saved from my sins because of what Jesus has done for me on the cross. Jesus himself said: "I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father's hand." (John 10:28-29, NIV)

So my fear isn't that judgment. It's the judgment on how I am living my life! In 2 Corinthians 5:10 we read: 

For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil.

Years ago I had read a book that described this Judgment Seat of Christ of a time where we will show Jesus all that we did in his name. The author would have Jesus ask, "Where are the souls you were supposed to bring to me?" Then the individual would boast about all the good work they did in their church, in business, or in missions. Then Jesus would say, "That didn't matter. Your life was to reach others!"

Deep down, this idea planted a fear in me. Not a good, healthy reverence of God and his judgment, but rather one that brings up the fear and insecurity of what my life looks like to non-Christians. 

In pastoring for nearly 20 years, I have been told many times what pastors are SUPPOSED to do. "Pastors are supposed to visit everyone in their church." "Pastors are supposed to be at every meeting." "Pastors are supposed to deal with every problem." "Pastors are supposed to..."

Never in any of those conversations did someone ask, "What has the Father asked you to do?"

If we are not hearing directly from the Father, exactly like Jesus did during his ministry on earth, then fear can creep in through all the things we are "supposed" to do.

Again, I don't tend to suffer from people pleasing. God has done a lot of healing in my life by not giving in to the supposed statements from Christians. My fear quietly crept in on how non-Christians might be expecting me to live... and does it draws them to Jesus or pushes them away.

Praying with Danielle and my PMA team at Ellel this week was so freeing!! God showed me the lie I was believing and helped me turn my ear completely to him. It may take some time for my flesh to catch up to the work we did in prayer, but I already feel a new level of peace and freedom.

Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain. - 1 Corinthians 15:58

After our PMA, Danielle left to go back home and I stayed at Ellel for a couple of days to help with their construction project.

For the past few years, Danielle and I have been financially supporting the ministry of Ellel and a building project that they have been working on. They are expanding their facilities to allow more people to attend their courses, retreats, and events so that even more people would experience the Father's heart of God in their lives. It has been a joy to give financially to this work.

Getting to actually help physically with this project was so life-giving! To be a part of the work, even labor like hanging drywall was so refreshing. There were about a dozen of us working and laughing together. I find God really brings rest to my soul during work like that. Doing it with others who are passionate for the Lord and his work, is a real bonus!

I finished the week with the next EXPLORE session. Danielle and I have completed the 10-session Explore A, and are now nearly complete the 10-session Explore B.

Explore is a series of weekend courses designed to train and equip God’s people through a journey of learning, understanding, and personal transformation. Those who journey through Explore will grow in their personal relationship with the Lord but also become better equipped to help others as they learn how to minister in the love and power of God to those in need.

This journey the past two and a half years has played one of the largest transformations in my life and ministry.

This month's session was all about God's healing through creativity. I have a love/hate relationship with creativity. I have always been a creative person. I loved drawing, painting, writing, and other crafts growing up. As I got older, instead of just enjoying creativity as a gift of God, I stopped. I'd never make it professionally as an artist or anything so why bother.

Even over the past few years, as I got back into being more creative with miniature painting, I would constantly be disappointed with my work instead of just enjoying painting. Or if I wrote something, it would always have to be so that someone else would benefit from it, instead of just enjoying writing.

In this Explore session, I was reminded that God is a CREATOR! Humans were created in the image and likeness of God. We are creative! We may not all be artists. Each of us has the ability and creativity to create. Build a house, write a poem, plant a garden, whatever it is for you. Recognizing this is an important part of how our Father made us to be can unlock a closeness with God that we may have been missing.

During one of the sessions, we were encouraged to make something from playdough. As I started to worry about what I would make, I felt God tell me to just have fun! With that in my heart, I just started laughing. Not a crazy laugh... just a quiet giggle. I started to make Krypto the Superdog out of playdough :) I just kept giggling quietly under my breath making it. It was just a fun time feeling close to God, filling my heart with joy, and making something that actually looks kind of cute.

This Explore weekend was so encouraging to make weekly creativity back into my life. And not for any specific project, but just to enjoy the time creating with God. 

The Father sure touched my heart a lot last week. Thanks again Ellel for walking with Danielle and me in our faith journey. You mean so much to us!