My Need to Focus

Something really weird happened to me when I turned 48 years old. I began to feel OLD! 

Things I've LOVED doing for years suddenly didn't bring me joy. Hobbies felt exhausting more than life-giving. My interests were shifting. And clinging to my old way of living and playing was making me feel more and more depressed and anxious.

I was lacking focus.

I found myself spreading myself way too thin trying to accomplish too many things! This was something that I learned about myself during my CREST Leadership Training that I had undergone for the 2 years leading up to this old feeling. I have a lot of interests and passions. Over the years I have kept adding to that list of passions and responsibilities, without re-evaluating how my time is being spent.

Since January 2020 I've been on a journey of mental, spiritual, and physical health. I have come to see the interdependence between these three aspects of my life in a way that I never would have imagined. When we are weak in one area it easily spills over into the other two.  This was especially true with all that we've had to deal with during the past 18 months of the COVID-19 pandemic.

My mental health was suffering because I couldn't stay focused.

And when I hit 48, that lack of focus suddenly made me feel tired, worn out, and old.

In January 2021, I listened to the Craig Groeschel Leadership Podcast. He was sharing on making 2021 your most focused year yet. And this greatly spoke to me. I had been doing a really good job of being focused at my work as the Lead Pastor of Greenbelt Church. Our staff team is just amazing and Elise, my EA, has done an INCREDIBLE job of restructuring my workweek around my rhymes and strengths!

But in my spare time, I was still spinning with a lack of focus. The hobbies and interests that used to fill me up for another work week, were becoming my greatest stresses.

In his podcast, Pastor Craig said this:

“The best way to increase your focus is to decrease your distractions.”

I've been living a very distracted life over the past 2 years. Too many interests, too many hobbies, too many means of connecting. In short, a lack of focus.

So I've been bringing some focus to my life. Here's what I've done.

1. Refocused how I use Social Media

I love social media. It has been an amazing tool to connect with so many people from so many different areas of my life. I've been an early adopter of every platform as they came out. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, TicTok... I'm on them all!

I think I may even still have a MySpace page somewhere :) Even this blog I have had since before blogging here since 2006! And I had another blog before that on a Lotus Notes server (those don't exist all that much anymore!)

While I've loved the means to connect, it had become unmanageable. And since so much is duplicated between platforms it becomes even crazier trying to figure out. I was approaching 2500 followers on these platforms combined. I know, that is small potatoes compared to other leaders... but I'm willing to bet those leaders have paid staff who run their social media. I don't.

I want to leverage the strength of each platform around my area of interest. For example, my Facebook profile is used to connect with my family, my closest friends (people I chat with and meet with regularly), and a reduced number of hobby groups (mainly miniature gaming and DDPY). I use a Facebook Group to connect with my Church Family and Christian community in the city and around the world. I use another Facebook Group to connect with people about DDPY Fitness and Mental Health. 

Facebook Messenger is still a way to chat with me... just don't send me meeting requests or church stuff through that as gets lost since Elise doesn't grab it :)

I use Instagram to just have fun and see what people do for relaxation around the world. I follow people of very different walks of life and beliefs than mine. I love the beauty and the diversity. And I love that Instagram is the least toxic of all the social media platforms :)

I use Twitter as a communication tool for my YouTube channels.

This refocus has freed up so much time and headspace. No need to duplicate everything everywhere hoping to connect with everyone about anything.

2. Refocused debate to face-to-face only

I love a good debate. I really do. I also really like being challenged. I love to grow and learn. Over the past 18 months, I have read and engaged with VERY different opinions than mine as it pertains to the pandemic, ministry, and everything else.

But in the past 18 months, I have also learned that most people on social media don't really seem to actually want to learn and grow and be challenged like I do. They just want to fight their opinion. And when you don't agree, the name-calling starts.

Honestly, social media is the absolute worst way to engage in challenging/difficult conversations. It took me a while, but I'm finally refocusing these conversations to face-to-face. In-person over a coffee, or on a Zoom call. 

“As a leader, you will never make a big difference when you are distracted by small things.” - Craig Groeschel

Debate on social media isn't going to change the world! It really isn't. For me, it just creates stress and wastes time that should be focused on other areas. This doesn't mean that these conversations shouldn't continue. I firmly believe they should! But the focus, for me, is to shift to face-to-face. That we can be reminded that we are all human beings, created in the image and likeness of God, who have importance and worth, and we'd treat each other that way even while disagreeing.

3. Refocused my hobby time

This was my most recent refocus. Over the years I have been a part of great hobbies with great people. I have been incredibly blessed by each of them. But something changed over the years. These hobbies became stressful instead of fun. In some groups, the organization has drifted from its core values which have caused me to realize I don't fit in anymore. Not a problem I can focus on something else.

I focused my hobby time on things that really help me relax and refill my emotional and mental cup! I've gotten back into books, comics and games from the pre-Disney days of Star Wars, and I just love it! I've gotten back into writing my own stories for a Star Wars Role Playing Game, and I just love it. I'm painting miniatures again now that I figured out how to do it with my older eyes, and I love it.

Moving on from other groups and community service to focus on areas I am more passionate about has actually created a light feeling on my back. Stress relieved! 

Time to Refocus

“True success isn’t about doing more. True success is doing more of what matters.” - Craig Groeschel

That podcast in January has gotten me thinking a lot. It has taken 7 months to implement some of it. I'm sure it will take several more months to continue implementing the rest.  

How about you?

Do you need to refocus at work, on social media, in your debates, or in your hobbies?

I'd love to hear how refocusing could help you have your best year yet!